words in free association

Free association can help in understanding ones self.

“It is free association within language that is the key to representing the prohibited and forbidden desire…to access unconscious affective memory” Freud.

Disagreeing with Freud’s linear approach;

“The patient is not cured by free-associating, he is cured when he can free-associate” Ferenczi.

On an occasion I wrote a bunch of words and tried to tie them up together in order to understand more about my self. The words where general and simple. They organized my thought and established a frame-work(game) that was clean from emotion or ego.

(1.gravity, 2.time, 3.art, 4.soul, 5.fantasy, 6.money, 7.outer, 8.reality, 9.you, 10.present, 11.future, 12.dreams, 13.past, 14.inner)

later on I used the words to initiate a free association game. Not knowing why I wrote a following word that arose from in side me without making an effort or denying what was coming up.

(1.air, 2.sleep, 3. form, 4.love, 5.mind, 6.satisfaction, 7.truth, 8. pain, 9.want, 10.face, 11.shame, 12.plan, 13.climb, 14.beauty)

I then started building sentences with the new words. Each sentence was to stand on its own and I allowed each word to appear only once. I ended up with 7 sentences. while writing the sentences I tried to keep it a game but not without allowing true depth and meaning to arise from it.

1.my mind wants to know the truth
2.it is painful to face shame
3.planning to climb out
4.in mid air
5.will her beauty satisfy me?
6.waiting is a form of sleep
7.love is on the ground

I then realized I had missed out two words and did the process again.

15. death

16.me

I do not know which word came from which but the sentence demonstrated a jump in my inner language concerning my mental state.

8.believe I can take a step

observing the sentences I decided that the first batch had an organizing affect on me leading to a key sentence, the new one.

I then just let my mind go and wrote an additional sentence that was not based on any leading word. The sentence described the actual work I was doing and describes a truth as i see it.

9.associative connections in their root derive from the urge to live.

I was connecting to my inner urge; to live and the sentences truly represent who I am and the actual place I am in.

Still much work to be done but I hope that by writing this down I gave my self the opportunity to communicate this to others.